mamaw aline gave me popcorn balls
apples & oranges
when i accidentally kicked her under the table she kicked me back
in the shins
which at seven i resented something fierce
mamaw ruth gave me hamburgers pizza
bags & bags of candy
coddled adored & loved me
to death
a taste of peanut butter
gets frozen on your face
once you experience great physical pain
anguish suffering it’s subconscious
if you’ve been in physical pain for a time
anguish pain and suffering
are frozen on your face not yet
thawed
not yet melted
for some, that expression sticks
when they told you ‘go to god’ you didn’t know the door you knock
on a place where somebody hands you a new scared expression
they photograph it frame it put it on the living room table
kind of picture you imagine your dad has hidden away somewhere
of his time fighting a war he didn’t want
now there’s a picture of the remnants of pain frozen on your own young face
you’re the next cover model for National Geo in your sister’s photography collection
some bird with an expression of pain frozen on her face
not that you can’t experience happiness
not that you can’t smile for the camera
not that you don’t get why people are smiling
you can
you do
you do
you
just also identify
with that pain in others
before it melts as it
melts
you want to be part of the reason of melting it not
keeping it
frozen
there